Have You Ever Made Out In a Parked Car Outside Your House (In Your Thirties)?

Denny Bini “Festa” Lambrusco dell’Emilia

Denny Bini “Festa” Lambrusco dell’Emilia
Varietal: A bunch of Lambrusc-bros¹
Region: Emilia Romagna, Italy
Year: NV
Price: ~$20
Importer: Porto Vino

I was never allowed to watch Melrose Place growing up (Disney, History or Nat Geo ONLY). I also have not watched it as an adult, but I don’t think I have to— or need to— given the drama that happens on my own street. My street that I am almost ran over every day walking my dog because stop signs don’t exist to people trying to get fucking smash burgers. My street where I’m actually hit in my car because people are trying to quadruple park to get fucking smash burgers. My street I’ve lived on for over ten years; the one my ex-husband still gets mail at, the one my ex-boyfriend lives on, the one where I know all the neighbors and they all know me and they know my ex-husband, my ex-boyfriend, my sister they sometimes confuse as me and politely pretend everything is chill when I know that behind closed doors they must, very reasonably, be this GIF o…